How To Deal...

How To Deal With:




1. Coworkers who are jealous of you
Answer: Compliments. Who doesn't enjoy them? Kill them with kindness. Find a common ground. If that don't work..... Pray they get fired.


2. Nosey Church People
Answer: Just start telling them all of your business. It will definitely help them not go to hell over lies and gossip.

3. Unappreciative Friends
Answer: Stop doing things for them. Then they can quit being unappreciative.

4. Road Rage Drivers
Answer: Let them pass you and as they are passing you make huge gestures as if you were to say "WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU THINKING" but instead shout "I AM AN ANGRY CRAZY MONKEY DRIVER!!" If you get into a Road War... just remember this isn't bumper cars. You will get hurt.

5. Needy Ex Boyfriends/Girlfriends
Answer: Tell them you want to see them. Set up a place to meet out in the middle of nowhere. No cell reception. No life forms. Before the scheduled meet... text them saying, "running a little late" then back out at the last second and accidentally forget to mention it to them. Have your number changed AND MOVE ON!


6. Weird Stalkers
Answer: Talk to them. Tell them you are interested in getting to know them more. Then follow them home. Watch their every move. Write in huge letters on their car "I'm watching you". It will totally freak your stalker out... why you ask? BECAUSE the stalker has just become the stalk-ee!

7. Bossy Bosses
Answer: This really depends if you want to keep your job. A bad way to respond to your boss being bossy is to order pizzas for the whole office in your boss's name - if at all possible use his Credit Card. Buy him a pregnant pet roach and one day after the babies are born accidentally leave the cage door open. These are just a few ways to make him see his unfairness. He should be getting the message.

Now a good way to handle a bossy boss is to go to them and let them know how overwhelmed you are feeling by all of the requests/rules/etc. Ask for some help. If they refuse, demand help. If they keep refusing, let them know you'll be filing a complaint with human resources and the labor board. THEN tell them you are going to call their boss. (if they are the owner you can call the better business bureau). HOPEFULLY your boss will comply with the first request to make your life better. :) :) :)

8. Unruly Children
Answer: If your child acts out simply put him in a dog kennel with a blanket over it so he can't see the entertainment outside his cage. If he acts up kick the cage saying, "SHUT UP!!!" If he continues... put him in the garage, turn up the t.v. and take a nice nap.


9. With your boss scheduling you on days that you don't want to work
Answer: Simple --- show up on the days you want to work. Easy as pie!



10. With clothes that are getting too small for you
Answer: Lose weight or stretch your clothes out really far. If you accidentally rip one just grab some extra material and safety pins. It will look punk-rocker-ish.



11. Husband/Wives who wont clean up/pick up after themselves
Answer: Tell them quietly in their sleep that tomorrow is "everything on the floor is trash" day... so they should be sure to pick up all their things they want to keep. So when you wake up the next day.... everything on the floor goes in the trash. Eventually if you do this enough they wont have anything else to leave hanging around your home. PROBLEM SOLVED!


12. Sleepless Nights
Answer: Drink lots and lots of alch.....err NIGHTQUIL! :) If that don't work take several narcotics and a few melatonin. However, I would call the ambulance before you actually fall asleep seeing as you may not wake up.


13. Telemarketers
Answer: When they call... try to sell them some of your old underwear.
Example: Them: "Hi, Mrs. Herring are currently a homeowner?"
You: "You know what I own? This pair of gap underwear the really need a new home. It's a sad day in the world when people no longer need undies. This particular pair of underwear actually allows you to do things no one else can do. Want to know what that is?"
Them: "Mrs. Herring I would like to talk to you about your homeowners insurance?"
You: "Insurance!!? You are trying to sell me insurance?"
Them: "Yes Mrs. Herring... now.... (interrupted)"
You: "How bad do you want this sale?"
Them: "I need to feed my family"
You: "Pretty compelling argument... buy my old undies and you won't have to work another day in your life."
Them: "Really?"
You: "Yes... So $8.95 plus shipping??"
Them: "Do you take AMEX?"

AND THAT IS HOW IT'S DONE!!!!! :)







I WILL ADD MORE HOW TO DEAL QUESTIONS. IF YOU WANT TO ASK ME A QUESTION ON HOW TO DEAL WITH A SITUATION OR THING... I'LL POST IT AND REPSOND.

My Bucket List

My Bucket List... Things I want to do before I die.

1. Help 100 people (or more) pray through to receive the holy ghost for the first time.

2. To be bilingual in atleast 5 languages (Russian, French, Spanish, Sign, & Norwegian)

3. Have atleast 4 children.

4. Sky Dive

5. Visit these countries (Africa, Norway, Jordan, Russia, Surbia, Thailand, Ireland, and Greece)

6. Fast for 30 days consecutively. (No food)

7. Finish my degree

8. Learn the violin

9. Build my own home.

10. Learn to sew dresses ( by patterns )

11. Be successful at something great

12. Memorize the whole bible

13. Learn to love myself (Fat rolls included)

14. Get my private pilot's license.

15. Acquire a sailboat

16. Sail my boat from Florida to Prince Edward Island

17. Build a home next to mine for Moms with no place to go and their children. I think I will call it "M.I.N.D."

18. Figure out a good acronym for "M.I.N.D."

20. Finally figure out how to play songs by sheet music/notes. I'd like to learn a few classical pieces.

21. Do what I say I'm going to do, when I say I'm going to do it.

22. Change someone's life forever (family & spouse not included)

23. Read Hebrew and Greek history books. As well, go through a few more Jewish History.

24. To go one day without sinning. To be perfect for one day. (geez.. I better start working on this now... lol)

25. To hear God's voice

26. To be everything my husband needs me to be for him

27. Say nothing but positive things for 30 days. (Trying to start this one now)

28. Throw away old clothes and bring in the new

29. To go a whole week without totally making my room look like a clothes disaster area! lol..

30.... I will add more to this when I can the chance! For now this is it.

Belonging....

Lately, I've been trying to search my heart and find a place where I feel like I "belong". It just seems like my heart is somewhere but my body is elsewhere. I have been questioning my mind so much with thoughts like, "Do I really belong here? Is this really what God has for me?". I keep wanting to throw my roots down... but something keeps me from doing so.

While thinking about this tonight... a thought suddenly came to mind. "This world is not my home. I'm just passing through. My treasures are laid up somewhere beyond the blue. The angels beckon me... to heaven's open door. Lord, I can't feel at home in this world anymore." I think that's my problem. Constantly trying to "feel at home" somewhere. All I have to work on now is wanting to "commit" somewhere without feeling like I don't belong there. I want to do a work for God and I want my heart to be in it. Although... I'm having a problem with putting my "heart" into it if I feel like I don't belong.

Any suggestions? I've never really dealt with this before.

Conformed or Transformed?

Once again... another issue I see happening.

Change: TO MAKE DIFFERENT, CAUSE A TRANSFORMATION

So many people today claim to have a God in their lives... yet we aren't changed PERMANATELY. How can you say that you live for God... but continue to live as the world lives? Dress as the world dresses? Talk like the world talks? If it is OF THE WORLD it is NOT OF GOD.

Romans 12:2 (KJV) ~ And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

conformed means 1. to give the same shape, outline, or contour to : bring into harmony or accord. 2. to be similar or identical; also : to be in agreement or harmony


transformed means 1 a : to change in composition or structure b :to change the outward form or appearance of c : to change in character or condition : convert

A Southern Baptist preacher named Paul Washer had an incredible message for this. I heard this message about 3 years ago. It still impacts me. In his message he states this,: (@ minute 30:47 on the video)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cncEhCvrVgQ

**Preaching at a youth convention***
Bro. Paul: "Let's imagine that I show up late and run up here on the platform. The elders angry at me say,'Bro. Paul don't you appreciate the fact that you are given the opportunity to speak here and you come late?' I say, 'Brothers, you have to forgive me.' Well, Why? 'Well I was out here on the highway, driving, and had a flat tire. I got out to change the tire. While changing the tire the lug nut fell off. I wasn't paying attention that I was on the highway and I ran out; grabbed the lug nut. As I stood up I saw a logging truck going 130 mph about 10 yards in front of me. It ran me over. That's why I am late."

(continuing)"Now, there are only two logical conclusions. Either, I am lying or I am a mad man. Why is that? Because, it is impossible to have an encounter with something as large as a logging truck and not be changed. My question to you is... what is larger... a logging truck... or God?"



Wow... How can we say we've been transformed when our entire COMPOSITION hasn't been changed? When everything about us isn't totally different? The things you did before God changed you are not the things you are going to continue to do after. The things you wore before God are not the things you will continue to wear. The communication you had before God will not be the way you communicate after.

Having God in your life... is a total reformation of everything. You are different. You talk different. You look different.


Now... time to evaluate. Have you conformed or are you transformed?

Things I Want To Say.....

Compiled is a list of things I have been wanting to say... but haven't or can't. I have to let it out somewhere... I'm dying inside.


1. Preaching Without Knowledge.

A. I understand some may not have as much of an education as others. However, this does not excuse you from STUDYING ALL ASPECTS of your message. You need to know everything that you are preaching. Research the words if you don't know what they mean. Your job is to reach the "lost". Smart & Intelligent people are lost as well. Being from the south doesn't mean you are stupid. KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING!!!!

Want to know why your ministry/ministers is/are not growing? CHALLENGE their way of thinking. Make them THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX! God is not in a box... why should you think in one? When God gave Solomon to ask of Him ANYTHING... solomon asked for wisdom and knowledge... WHY??? BECAUSE IN ORDER TO EFFECTIVELY LEAD GOD'S PEOPLE YOU NEED WISDOM AND KNOWLEDGE!!!

2Choron. 1:11-12
And God said to Solomon, Because this was in thine heart, and thou hast not asked riches, wealth, or honour, nor the life of thine enemies, neither yet hast asked long life; but hast asked wisdom and knowledge for thyself, that thou mayest judge my people, over whom I have made thee king:
Wisdom and knowledge is granted unto thee; and I will give thee riches, and wealth, and honour, such as none of the kings have had that have been before thee, neither shall there any after thee have the like.

Maybe instead of praying for an increase in your soul winner numbers.. you should pray God gives you the wisdom and knowledge to reach whomever... however & wherever.

Timothy 2:15
Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth

B. THE MOST COMMON MISCONCEPTION THAT IS DRIVING ME BONKERS IS:

The Muslim Religion "ISLAM": IMPORTANT FACT TO KNOW... ALLAH is the word in the Arabic Language for "ONE AND ONLY GOD" OR "ONE WHO DESERVES ALL WORSHIP"

"Allah" is not a statue.. or a Sun God or anything like this. It is the word used for God in the Arabic language. JUST like "Dios" is God in Spanish or "Dieu" in French. He has MANY NAMES. Just because everyone does not call Him in english "God" does not mean they are referring to some OTHER Diety.
"Allah" is arabic for the one and only God. PLEASE STOP ACTING LIKE Allah is a God OTHER THAN THE SAME GOD WE ALL SERVE.

Why is it that everything thinks they know so much about it, but fail to actually study? The bible says to know your enemy. How are you ever going to reach anyone of this faith or show them the truth without knowing where they come from? THIS IS SOO IMPORTANT. Muslims that have been converted to Apostolic/Christianity/Pentecostal/etc.... STILL REFER TO GOD AS ALLAH... because He is the one and only God of Abraham, Issac, and Jacob. God is Above all, through all, and in all of us! AND NO I do not believe in the islamic/muslim doctrine for all those who read this and ONLY see what you want to see.

2. Shouting Services are the "ONLY" Services

Something a lot of people fail to realize. Just because you have shouted doesn't mean a change has taken place in your life. You may feel good and it might help you overcome some of your fleshly battles.. but the spiritual conflicts are inside. How do you overcome those? Through INTERCESSERY PRAYER & WORSHIP. How do we grow closer to God? How do we GROW so intimate with Him that the thought of His name brings tears to your eyes because you are so overwhelmed with love for Him? A song sang very often in a lot of churches, but speaks perfectly of what I'm talking about is:

"The more I seek you, the more I find you,
the more I find you, the more I love you,
I want to sit at your feet, drink from the cup in your hand,
Lay back against you and breath, feel your heart beat,
This love is so deep, it's more than I can stand,
I melt in your peace, it's overwhelming"

When you shout, you are usually thanking God for a victory or a blessing.
When you worship, it's not about you. It's about Him.

Now, how often do we come to church with hands out ready to receive God's blessings?
Why not turn that around to God what can I bless you with? How can I make you happy today? Church shouldn't always be about getting your blessing. Stop being so selfish. Stop making everything about yourself. (In relation to God ofcourse) Show Him how much you love Him by going ONE SERVICE without asking God to meet a need. Show Him it's not ALWAYS about Him answering your prayers. (Prayer requests are so important so do not misunderstand what I am saying) Show Him how much He means to you even if HE NEVER BLESSED YOU OR ANSWERED ANOTHER PRAYER FOR YOU AGAIN.

Something I posted on Easter Sunday was this, "God... even if you never died for me on the cross... I would still love you. I would still live for you". Worship is God centered. Not US centered. A few scriptures to ease the mind.

1. Psalms 95:6 - Oh come, let us worship and bow down; Let us kneel before the LORD our Maker.

2. Acts 17:23 - "for as I was passing through and considering the objects of your worship, I even found an altar with this inscription: TO THE UNKNOWN GOD. Therefore, the One whom you worship without knowing, Him I proclaim to you:

3. Hebrews 13:15 - Therefore by Him let us continually offer the sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of our lips, giving thanks to His name.

Shouting is good and helps the flesh. However, there comes a time when you need to lay that aside and realize worship is where the true growth comes from.



3. We Don't Like Contemporary(Updated) Music. The only kind is the Old Southern Gospel.

You are strongly mistaken. We really should study the first church. When they received the Holy Ghost they were commanded to GO and PREACH EVERYWHERE, but they keep trying to come back to the Upper Room to recreate the experience; and finally God has to send persecution to them to get off their (posterior regions) to go evangelize the world!

I think we have fallen so short. We by err of being human try so hard to preserve the experience while missing the entire purpose.

We try to sing the "old" songs thinking that they were written under some stronger annointing mistakingly assuming that those are the songs that God moves through.
However, there is a reason that we are commanded to "SING UNTO THE LORD A NEW SONG" not only because they are culturally relative, but because it causes men and women to seek for their own understanding of the Lord. It is all about pursuing personal revelation and relationship with Jesus.

Well....they argue how come I cry everytime I hear the "old songs"? Simple ... the same reason it excites you to see a 1957 Bel Air or visit the old burger joint in your town that still serves dinasour burgers ... NOSTALGIA ......
I look at old pictures and remember the good times. Nothing wrong with it, but it cant stop me from making NEW MEMORIES !

Please ... I beg the previous generation to allow us to build on the foundation you have laid, but build higher to know HIM better. You have swum your leg of the race . Now let us go deeper and see if there is even more to God than we could have ever imagined ....



This is it for now.

God, you are my all in all.

What to say... .?

God,

I just want to say thank you so much. I just want to say how much I love you. When I was embarrassed and ashamed to say that I love you... I'm sorry. When I couldn't stand up for what I believed in and let the world take me down a different road... I'm sorry. When I let petty things come in between me and my work for you, Lord... I'm sorry. I'm soooo thankful that you kept me this year. I'm soo thankful that at the end of the day I know that you are going to continue keeping me.

God... you were there for me when I was at my lowest point. You showed me that you ARE God. You showed me what a little faith and trust can do. You taught me... that even the world leaves you hurting and longing for more.

"Sometimes I think I'm in control... and I act so foolishly. Facing problems on my own.. Lord I don't know what's best for me."

When I was too unworthy to come to you... You came to me. When all my friends were gone... you showed me I was not alone. You love me for who I am... not who I can be. You think I'm already perfect... not disformed. You show me, you teach me, you love me, you lead me, you comfort me, you provide for me, you hide me, and you walk with me.

This year I have not been on my best behavior. This year... I've done what I wanted, when I wanted, how I wanted, and where ever I wanted. But, God... I wasn't happy. I wasn't satisfied. I learned this year... that @ the end of it all... only YOU can satisfy my soul. It's only you, Lord.



It's not mine.... It's only you.

Thank you so much... for breaking down my walls of bitterness and anger. Thank you for teaching me to open my heart again. It's been so hard. I know I will never be who I once was... but I'd like to be someone new. A mighty woman of valor. A true lady. A true Woman of God. I don't need anyone's acceptance... but Your's. You're my king... my prince... my love and my friend.

I'm looking forward to spending the rest of my life... being with you.

Moving Forward

... This song is an exact replica of where I am right now. Everything in my life... everything that I've done... been a part of... taken part of.. is gone. It's just me... moving forward.

God is really just .... wow. A lot of things I've done and been through I never thought I would actually... do them. It took everything I had in me... to turn away from those things. I realize just exactly how hard it is to do the right thing... but if you are desperate for God -- you'll do what every it takes to move forward.


I'm not going back
I'm moving ahead
I'm here to declare
In You old things are made new
Surrender my life to Christ
I'm moving moving forward

What a moment
You have brought me to
Such a freedom
I have found in You
What a Healer

You make all things new
Yeah Yeah Yeah

You have risen
With all power in Your Hands
You have given me
A second Chance
Hallelujah Hallelujah

Yeah Yeah Yeah
Yeah Yeah Yeah

You maka all things new
You make all things new
I will follow You forward

Renewed..

Renewed.... Refreshed... Restored... Revived... Resurrected.

All these words have one thing in common...



Starting Over

The feeling of starting over... I can't describe. It's a great feeling, the only issue is.. your past. I seem to be the world's worst about past issues. I nurse my mistakes and constantly remind myself of all my failures in life. (As if people in my life don't already do that for me... ) I feel like I'm the hardest on myself out anyone, but I like starting over.

At the bottom... seems to be the worst place in the world to be. Right now... the bottom is where I want to be. I need God to start over in my life. I need to be with my family where there is love and encouragment. If I do something wrong or fail at something.. there isn't chastisement... it's simply - "Get up.. and try again - we're here for you"

Even after they know almost everything I've gone through - They're still there for me.

The last 7 months... man... flew by. 6 months ago everything was smooth sailing... 2 weeks ago.. it slipped through my fingers like sand.

I guess I should tell everyone.. out of mutual agreement I no longer work for the family in Redondo Beach, Ca. I moved to bakersfield to be with my family and I'm currently looking for a job here.

For those who know my condition - It's pathetic. The state that I'm in... I need prayer; most of all... I need a Resurrection in God.

My numbers don't work right now.. due to the fact I dont have a job... no money to pay the bill. However - Hopefully I will soon get the money to have that done and I will call and update everyone.

For now - I need everyone's prayers. I need healing in my life.





"Wow.. God ... I just don't know what to say to you. Why do you love me? A failure... a constant disappointment in your life. I'm quite possibly the worst disappointment of them all. Why do you bless me with talent? I don't deserve it. I can't seem to keep things in my spiritual life in order long enough to do any real work for you. That's all I ever wanted to do; do a work for you and be around people who love/care about me. I'm sorry I let them change me... If you give me strength and wisdom I will work very hard to never let that effect me again."

I'm in need of Resurrection

I'm at a loss for words, there's nothing to say
I sit in silence wondering what led me to this place
How did my heart become so lifeless and cold
Where did the passion go?

When all my efforts seem like chasing wind
I've used up all my strength and there's nothing left to give
I've lost the feeling and I'm numb to the core
I can't fake it anymore.

Here I am at the end I'm in need of resurrection
Only You can take this empty shell and raise it from the dead
What I've lost to the world what seems far beyond redemption
You can take the pieces in Your hand and make me whole again, again

You speak and all creation falls to its knees
You raise Your hand and calm the waves of the raging sea
You have a way of turning winter to spring
Make something beautiful out of all this suffering

Here I am once again I'm in need of resurrection
Only You can take this empty shell and raise it from the dead
What I've lost to the world what seems far beyond redemption
You can take the pieces in Your hand and make me whole again, again

You have a way of turning winter to spring
Make something beautiful out of all this suffering

-Nicole Sponberg

A great thought!

I have learned that no matter what happens or how bad it seems today, LIFE does go on AND it WILL be better tomorrow. I've learned that you can tell alot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things : a rainy day, lost luggage and tangled christmas lights. I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents you will miss them when they are gone from your life. I've learned that making a "living" is not the same as making a "life ".
I have learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart , I usually make the right decision. I've learned that when I have pains I do not have to be one. I have learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug or just a friendly pat on the back. I have learned that I STILL have a lot to learn . I've learned that people will forget what you said, peolpe will forget what you did, but people will NEVER forget how you made them feel.'

The Shambles of My Life

I don't even know where to begin. I feel like I'm at the lowest place I could possibly be. I'm being sucked into this whirlpool of emotions. Where everything is pulling me down so quickly and in a circular motion. I'm dizzy from all the movement. Today, I can't even begin to explain the humiliation and hurt I received from the 2 people I love so very much. After service today, I felt like such a failure; an embarassment to anyone that talks to me. I'm made to feel this way by people who feel the need to "humble" me or "talk bad about me" as result to pull me down.

I guess when I'm depressed... I'm not depressed enough to everyone because I chose not to include people in on my life.(like - let them know what's going on. I put up a front so that it appears everything is alright) It's really hard... because when I'm upset the most or down then most... I close everyone out and I dont' want any communication what-so-ever. I have no desire to rant my feelings out to anyone or to "talk" about what's going on. Yet, I want to. I wish I had a friend who was FRIEND ENOUGH to pursue me (as a friend) to find out what I was going through. That friend who will care enough to stretch just one foot forward to let me know that they TRULY care about me.

Allow me to elaborate a little further...

Ever been to a place that's totally new to you? Where NO ONE knows you? You have to walk in and make friends all on your own without knowing a single name? When you get in that place you think, "wow... this is such a great place to be! I want to be here forever!" Then you start trying to make "contacts" or "connections", but for some odd reason no one is giving you the time of day? Instead they turn their noses up and walk off in the other direction. Was it something you did? Were you walking funny? You scream out, "What did I do?" and their reply is, "It's just who you are." You search high and low in every possible memory you have and quickly start trying to figure out what it is about you that they don't like.

So you start changing things about you to win acceptance. You bring yourself (more or less allow yourself) to get to this level that (according to your standards) isn't a place you want to be, but if this is where you are accepted then... maybe it's ok for now. After subcumbing yourself down to that level you go up to them again and say, "how about now?" And they continue to walk in the other direction; neglecting or chosing NOT to acknowledge your presence. So this sparks more desire/determination in you to want to keep changing until you win their acceptance. You are in a whirlwind of changes. Everything going soo fast and changing so quickly that you aren't sure why you started changing in the first place. After all is said and done... you are so sure that "Now... they will like me. I've done all this for them. They have to accept me now." So you walk up to them with excitement in your voice and you say, "How about now? Do you like me now that I've changed for you!?"
They glance at you and say, "NO..." You quickly cry out, "Why? What am I doing that's wrong?" Their reply is, "It's just you." Their response rips through you like a wave. It starts in the heart... and then affects the rest of you.

You are now at this point of frustration. You don't understand. You let your guard down. You changed almost everything there is to change. You don't even remember who you were once before. This no longer makes sense. In your haste to redeem yourself somehow you call out, "What can I do to make you like me?" No response... they just walk away. You look at what you have to change... and all that's left... is Shambles; pieces that no longer make sense. You can't figure this out. In your conquest to win the acceptance of "them" everything has fallen apart in your life. You find yourself alone in this "place" that is full of people who never even gave you a chance to show them what kind of person you could be.

Do you know this point?



Good... because now you understand where I am. I'm hanging on a cliff; struggling to hang on with everything that's left in me. No one to help... why? Because I was written off before they ever knew me or wanted to know me.

Sad? yes.... but very true.

It's pretty sad when christians have allowed themselves to treat other christians/friends/people this way and think of it as "ok" or the "modern day vernacular".

Maybe they'll learn one day... just maybe...

A Woman in the Will of God

A Woman in the will of God....


....longs for more time to be all alone with her Bible and her Lord;

...is learning to ask, "How, Lord?", instead of, "Why, Lord?";

...seems preoccupied at times, for she is trying to get answers for her
earthly dilemmas from a heavenly source;

...is not driven by her fears, but by her faith;

...tells her troubles, yes, but first to the Master;

...may have a peculiar peace about her in the midst of turmoil;

...cries often, but dries her tears with renewed determination;

...has eyes that see clearer when they're closed and ears that hear
better when it is quiet;

...is losing her taste for vanity;

...doesn't cringe when she hears the words "submit" or "obey" for she
knows they are directional signs straight from God;

...has well learned to say, "I was wrong; I am sorry";

...makes others feel very welcome in her presence;

...is wholly surrendered to her Lord, even her attire, her hair, her
face, and her speech, saying, "Yes, my Lord";

...fears God, yet is not afraid of Him;

...knows how to fight and wrestle in the Spirit, and she knows the
secret of worshipping God before the victory as well as after the
victory;

...anxiously awaits the trumpet to sound, yet prays that God will wait
as she thinks of the lost;

...has learned that less is more, and to be exalted, she must first
humble herself;

...has a song to sing like no one else;

...is not fenced in by the restrictions of the society she lives in;
for she is free, free to soar in the presence of God, and free to be in
God's perfect will.








- I found this on a friend of mine's EC page.

Perception vs. Reality

It's kind of strange how this just came about. I was on everyonesconnected.com and I saw the article "Is Perception Reality?".

Here is what the article stated?

Is perception reality? Do those that view perception as reality
have skewed view of reality? Can reality be altered by the way we
perceive? Ultimately do how others perceive us define who we are?
Can we create chains on peoples life with the power of our perception?


My answer was:

I think that perception CAN become reality in a lot of cases. Because... ultimately it's what we see... that we truly believe and in a lot of cases although the "perception" of things may be tried... and the reality might win. You still have the "thoughts" of the perceived thing that still linger there or the image of what was perceived. Sometimes reality just isn't enough to overcome perception. That's why you have to be extra careful to not get put into situations where things can be perceived wrongly.

After all... we live in a world... that's based on Image... not Reality.


What do you think? I liked that answer. However, I want to expound a little more and answer the rest of the questions he had asked.

Is perception reality?
Technically... no, but it CAN become reality.


Do those that view perception as reality have skewed view of reality?
Absolutely not. It just means that the perception of things won the battle. Hence the reason we shouldn't let our "Good be evil spoken of". Becareful of how people perceive you.


Can reality be altered by the way we perceive?
I believe so. If we allow the perception to be here in the first place aren't we indeed saying the perception itself is reality?

Ultimately do how others perceive us define who we are?
Only if we don't allow ourselves to be come that way. We are who we allow ourselves to be. YOU can only be who YOU say you are.

Can we create chains on peoples life with the power of our perception?
Once again... I believe we can. Perception seems to be always stronger than the truth at times.


I don't know :) that's just my 2 cents.

I'm fat...

I'm so fat... seriously. I've not lost anymore weight. I'm just staying the same and I'm not happy about it. It's killing me. It's causing me to develop very unhealthy habits... that I don't like. I'm sad right now. It'll be a while before I'm happy again I'm sure. It just seems like everytime I decide to get my head up above the "water" something comes along that keeps me from coming up for a breath. It's killing me. Eventually I'm going to stay under and never come back up if I can't fight through this. I have way to much going on in my life. It literally stresses me out to go/be ANYWHERE. :( I wish things were different. Oh well... I made my bed. Now I have to lie in it.

Being Ready...

The post below is pretty much how I feel right now.

I think about the things I go through... physical, spiritual, and emotional. I just can't tear away from just trusting in God. I don't hardly trust any one anymore. All I know is that no matter what I go through. No matter the persecution or crucifiction.... I'm going to do what it takes to make it all the way. No I'm not perfect... never said I was, but what makes a difference between me & others is that I realize I've fallen but that I have to get back up and keep persevering. I have to keep going. Ok, I scrapped my knees a little... that's not going to hold me back. I'm going to keep going. I have to keep going.

I don't want to know what my life would be like without God in it. I don't even want to think of it... because if I do... my heart starts to ache. I couldn't be here without God. I can't be me without God. My entire being revolves around him & his purpose for my life. I can't be anyone else or do anything else.

Sight(God) beyong what I can see... You know what's best for me! Prepare my heart... prepare my mind for whatever comes... I'm going to be ready.
Strength to pass any test... I feel like I am so blessed... with you in control "I" can't go wrong... 'cause I always know... I'm going to be ready.

No matter what... I'm going to be ready.

No matter what.. I'm going to be ready

I say a prayer every night, whatever I do, I'll get it right
With no regret, no guilt or shame this time, no not this time
Once I surrender, I won't dare look back, cause if I do, I'll get off track
Move ahead in faith, and patiently await your answer, what will it be


Sight beyond what I see
You know what's best for me
Prepare my mind, prepare my heart
For whatever comes, I'm gone' be ready

Strength to pass any test
I feel like I'm so blessed
With you in control, I can't go wrong
'Cause I always know, I'm gonna be ready

I was free to do, what I wanted to, lost everything, but I still had you
You showed me your grace, now my life's renewed and I thank you, yes.. I thank
You
So I'll tell anyone who'll listen, I'll testify
About how good you were to me, when so call friends passed me by
The fact that you would show somebody so broke down, so-much-merccccyyy...


Sight beyond what I see BEYOND WHAT I SEE
You know what's best I KNOW YOU KNOW WHAT'S BEST FOR ME
Prepare my mind...PREPARE MY MIND AND PREPARE MY HEART
For whatever comes...FOR WHATEVER COMES I GONNA BE READY

Strength to pass any test GIVE ME THE STRENGTH TO PASS ANY TEST
I feel like I'm so blessed I KNOW THAT I'M SO BLESSED
With you in control...YOUR IN CONTROL LORD, CAN'T GO WRONG NO
'Cause I always know...CAUSE I KNOW THAT I'M GONNA BE READY

So use me as you will, I'll pay the price
'Cause made the ultimate sacrifice
It's all because of you, that I even have life
And I'll give my love, as a tribute, to how great you are...

Sight beyond what I see BEYOND WHAT I SEE
You know what's best I KNOW YOU KNOW WHAT'S BEST FOR ME
Prepare my mind...PREPARE MY MIND AND PREPARE MY HEART
For whatever comes...FOR WHATEVER COMES I GONNA BE READY

Love Fading Away???

Here lately I've been so shocked at the growing numbers of people whose relationships are shattered or disoriented by loving someone. It's ridiculous.

Security is no longer here. I'm scared to even ponder entering a relationship anymore because if I do... I won't ever know if they'll just decide to wake up one day and say, "I don't love you anymore." I don't know... to me it just seems safer right now to not love anyone anymore. I think that's best for me. Love people the way I need to, but never fall in love again. Sounds kind of hard core, but right now I'm just not ready for it. It’ll be a lonely journey, but I'd rather be alone for a while than to fall in love again. The pain, itself, is too much for me to swallow right now.

Most of my friends going through something similar right now. They are in love and either got dumped or the other person doesn't return their feelings. I just can't go through it again. Emotional exhaustion has taken me over. The only one in whom I can trust with my entire being is God. I think that's why I've stayed away from guys this last year. When I started to feel myself trust Jonathan and things turned out the way they did... I feel myself just sinking into a greater shell of self seclusion. It's my safe place. 3 strikes and you are out right? I've loved with my whole heart 2 times... the next time I love someone and it doesn't work out... I'm out of the game. I'm gone. My heart will be nothing. So I think I'm just going to keep what's left of my heart and just be a harbored soul for a while.

I can't take the risk anymore. Not now anyways.

In service today God really spoke to my heart. The sermon was for me. No one truly knows what I think about myself. Every one thinks I actually think I look cute or are pretty or etc. It's so funny... because if they truly knew... the only reason I say those things is because I try to make myself feel better. No one else ever tells me (not that they have to) but... my security level is so low. I'm constantly trying to improve myself because I'm not happy with me because of my past... things I've done/said/etc. God told me today that he loves me... no matter what the past looks like to others. All he sees in me is my future and where I'm going; not the things I've done or the mistakes I've made along the way.

Keep Pressing On..

These last few weeks have been a real trial for me. Certain things I've faced... that I feel like I didn't face very well. That I could've done better but I didn't necessarily fail them either. I just wished I would've came out MORE on top of things than I did. God really knows how to take care of things in our lives yano?

Tonight we had a W.O.W. rally (Women of Worship) and my pastor's wife said something that really made start thinking about how far I wanted to go/grow in God. She said, "YOu need to start stepping into unfamiliar territory. Start doing things that you don't normally do and watch God work in your life". I'm sure this doesn't really reach a lot of people, but to me... it was exactly what I needed to hear. I'm to comfortable where I am right now. No one knows that... no one knows what I'm fighting when I'm fighting it. Everyone just assumes that things are just perfect in my life and that I have it made. No one knows what I have/had to go through to get to the place where I am.

Both relationships that I was in... Jeremy & Brandon. They were in the will of God... but only for a season. Mistakes had taken place... yeah that's what happens.. but I wouldn't BE where I am right now if I hadn't made those mistakes... & taken those chances on love. I believe that God had to let me learn things the HARD way in order to get me to start seeing things his way. He knows what he's doing! Everything works together according to his plan & purpose! :)

I love the Lord! I just want to tell everyone that!


"Praises to the one who saves us, through his blood he gave us life and now we've come! EVERYONE!!!"

Give God some GLORY & HONOR for the THINGS he's done in your life!!!

The Unfailing Reality of Past Decisions

This past week I was granted the priviledge of going back east to visit my family and friends. It was a great week! I had a lot of fun. I was ready to come back home to California until the day I had to come back. One small minor detail changed my desires and thought patterns. I'm not sure how it will work out or if anything will ever come of it... but I really really would like for it to. I haven't really felt so sure about wanting something like this to work out in a while. BUT if God wants it to... it will.

Anyways... I could kick myself for the stupid decisions I make sometimes and for the ones I particularly made with this "small minor detail".

*le sigh*....

An Unexpected Shocker...

Tonight I was online looking at a friend of mine's website on Everyonesconnected.com. I recently noticed she had changed some things around on her profile and I saw she had updated again so I went to check her out. On her very first page... she had written a small passage. It was titled "Still Small Voice". In this passage she let's out this passion for God like I've never seen in her before. The things she said and the way she felt about God... moved me to tears. Here is just a small portion of what she wrote.

"God changed my life today. I know a lot of people say that, But this is something that can and will not fade. I feel that strongly about it. My time devoted to God today, altered my life and the way I view myself. The Craziest thing happened. I get to the church at 1:12pm. Walk in, and couldn’t get the sound system to work. I wanted to put in my usual prayer CD. (Guess God disagreed) Sooo, I grab a CD that my youth pastor preached awhile back entitled “Can I have your attention, please!!?” I went upstairs to the youth prayer room, put the CD in and pressed play. I turned off EVERY light. It was pitch black and I was completely alone. I Could not see my hand in front of me. “Be still, and know that I am God.” And that’s exactly what I did. Not a peep. Just listened. The longer I sat and listened, the closer I felt him move towards me, the stronger I felt him, the more in awe I became, the more I wept. Next thing I know, he was sitting right beside me. He spoke to me today... "

Wow... it's amazing. This girl.. what God is doing in her life. I wish you guys could read the entire thing. It rendered me speechless! I felt my self crying out to God, "OH! GOD move in my life! speak to me Lord! Take me to another level!!!!!!!"

This girl has just blown me away. I would've never thought her to feel this way about God or to hunger after him with such a desire.

What an awesome girl.... I've acquired such a great respect for her...

Lord, move in all of us. Give us all a hunger for you.