How To Deal...

How To Deal With:




1. Coworkers who are jealous of you
Answer: Compliments. Who doesn't enjoy them? Kill them with kindness. Find a common ground. If that don't work..... Pray they get fired.


2. Nosey Church People
Answer: Just start telling them all of your business. It will definitely help them not go to hell over lies and gossip.

3. Unappreciative Friends
Answer: Stop doing things for them. Then they can quit being unappreciative.

4. Road Rage Drivers
Answer: Let them pass you and as they are passing you make huge gestures as if you were to say "WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU THINKING" but instead shout "I AM AN ANGRY CRAZY MONKEY DRIVER!!" If you get into a Road War... just remember this isn't bumper cars. You will get hurt.

5. Needy Ex Boyfriends/Girlfriends
Answer: Tell them you want to see them. Set up a place to meet out in the middle of nowhere. No cell reception. No life forms. Before the scheduled meet... text them saying, "running a little late" then back out at the last second and accidentally forget to mention it to them. Have your number changed AND MOVE ON!


6. Weird Stalkers
Answer: Talk to them. Tell them you are interested in getting to know them more. Then follow them home. Watch their every move. Write in huge letters on their car "I'm watching you". It will totally freak your stalker out... why you ask? BECAUSE the stalker has just become the stalk-ee!

7. Bossy Bosses
Answer: This really depends if you want to keep your job. A bad way to respond to your boss being bossy is to order pizzas for the whole office in your boss's name - if at all possible use his Credit Card. Buy him a pregnant pet roach and one day after the babies are born accidentally leave the cage door open. These are just a few ways to make him see his unfairness. He should be getting the message.

Now a good way to handle a bossy boss is to go to them and let them know how overwhelmed you are feeling by all of the requests/rules/etc. Ask for some help. If they refuse, demand help. If they keep refusing, let them know you'll be filing a complaint with human resources and the labor board. THEN tell them you are going to call their boss. (if they are the owner you can call the better business bureau). HOPEFULLY your boss will comply with the first request to make your life better. :) :) :)

8. Unruly Children
Answer: If your child acts out simply put him in a dog kennel with a blanket over it so he can't see the entertainment outside his cage. If he acts up kick the cage saying, "SHUT UP!!!" If he continues... put him in the garage, turn up the t.v. and take a nice nap.


9. With your boss scheduling you on days that you don't want to work
Answer: Simple --- show up on the days you want to work. Easy as pie!



10. With clothes that are getting too small for you
Answer: Lose weight or stretch your clothes out really far. If you accidentally rip one just grab some extra material and safety pins. It will look punk-rocker-ish.



11. Husband/Wives who wont clean up/pick up after themselves
Answer: Tell them quietly in their sleep that tomorrow is "everything on the floor is trash" day... so they should be sure to pick up all their things they want to keep. So when you wake up the next day.... everything on the floor goes in the trash. Eventually if you do this enough they wont have anything else to leave hanging around your home. PROBLEM SOLVED!


12. Sleepless Nights
Answer: Drink lots and lots of alch.....err NIGHTQUIL! :) If that don't work take several narcotics and a few melatonin. However, I would call the ambulance before you actually fall asleep seeing as you may not wake up.


13. Telemarketers
Answer: When they call... try to sell them some of your old underwear.
Example: Them: "Hi, Mrs. Herring are currently a homeowner?"
You: "You know what I own? This pair of gap underwear the really need a new home. It's a sad day in the world when people no longer need undies. This particular pair of underwear actually allows you to do things no one else can do. Want to know what that is?"
Them: "Mrs. Herring I would like to talk to you about your homeowners insurance?"
You: "Insurance!!? You are trying to sell me insurance?"
Them: "Yes Mrs. Herring... now.... (interrupted)"
You: "How bad do you want this sale?"
Them: "I need to feed my family"
You: "Pretty compelling argument... buy my old undies and you won't have to work another day in your life."
Them: "Really?"
You: "Yes... So $8.95 plus shipping??"
Them: "Do you take AMEX?"

AND THAT IS HOW IT'S DONE!!!!! :)







I WILL ADD MORE HOW TO DEAL QUESTIONS. IF YOU WANT TO ASK ME A QUESTION ON HOW TO DEAL WITH A SITUATION OR THING... I'LL POST IT AND REPSOND.